Tomorrow we will be printing the annual Best of Pullman Coug's choice awards in The Daily Evergreen.
But what about the worst? We have a lot of annoying shit that's fo' sho'!
So I decided to compile a list of the worst things in Pullman.
1. Worst sport: Football. It's a joke. We all know it. Also, football players, with your record you really shouldn't be calling attention to yourself around town. You can be douchebags, but not after that gridiron abortion you call a season.
2. Worst bar: Rico's. Pretentious grad students? Check. Shitty jazz? Double check. Over priced microbrews designed to make boring yuppies feel special? Yep. Got those too!
3. Worst personality: That person who constantly complains about Pullman not being like Seattle. You know who I'm talking about. "Oh, there's nothing to do here." "I like Bellvue better." Yeah, it's Pullman-effing-Washington! Grab a beer and quit bitchin'. It's annoying.
4. Worst guy: Every drunk, angry, asshole on Greek row who looks at you like he wants to fight and/or screw your girlfriend. News flash: No one likes you. Grow up. Learn how to handle your booze.
5. Worst girl: Every pumpkin-faced bleached blond with a fake tan who puts on waaaaay too much perfume. I can handle the fact that you've chosen to turn yourself into a visual cliche. I just don't want to smell you before I can see you.
5. Worst place to eat: Panda Express. Would you like a scoop of day-old coagulated chicken parts? You're in luck! All you have to do is march on up to Panda Express. No it's not dysentery, it's Panda's revenge!
6. Worst place to live: Any place owned by Dabco. They. Are. The. Worst. Dabco is to tenants what Coyotes are South Americans trying to cross the border.
So there ya have it. The worst of the worst. The rouges gallery. Everything in town that makes the baby Jesus (and me) cry.
Touche. Love this, and agree with all of it. Somehow, though, I'm still so glad to call Pullman home while I'm at WSU. And not for one second longer.
ReplyDeleteHAHA, I just found your blog and I love it. I totally agree on all of your worsts except for Panda Express. I can't help but love that stuff, so typical. :)
ReplyDeleteSouth Americans crossing what border? Did you Mexicans--they are also North Americans. Also, Ricos has wonderful live music--you know performed by live humans and not the awful speaker blowing noise at bars pumped so loud that you cannot hear the women telling men to stop touching their butts. I bet you Ricos is the safest bar in Pullman. Sometimes I go to a bar to talk rather than have my ears bleed. Ironic because your "worst man and woman" would also say what you said about Ricos. :P
ReplyDeleteThough I agree about the Seattle loving freshmen. We get it- UW turned you down. Shut up or go home. Pullman is city defined by the college-- UW is a college defined by Seattle. Not as sweet.
ReplyDeleteAwesome brother!I completely agree with all except for #2, although all of your points there are completely valid. I would have to say that Mikes is the worst bar because it is the focal point for the other things on the list.
ReplyDeleteTrevor