Thoughts on Father's Day

I believe the people of my generation know intimately the damaging effects of a childhood spent without a father. I also believe even more of my peers know the greater hardship of a bad father.

All the more reason that on a day like today we take a moment and recognize that being a husband and a father is harder than it looks. It is a feat worth our thanks and respect.

Though raised mostly by a single mother, I was lucky enough to have a positive father figure early in life – my grandfather. If you follow the link you can a read a post all about Pop but I mention his influence on me briefly because it's very important for a kid to have good role models.

I watched everything my grandpa did – from the way he screwed in a light bulb to the way he said grace before supper.

My stepfather, Will, has also been a huge influence on my life. A Dutch immigrant and farmer he is the very personification the American perseverance, individuality and hard work.

As a boy his father died an untimely death. Afterward Will went to work on a farm to help feed his family. Eventually, he made it to the states and though his English was broken he got a job at a dairy farm in California. He worked his way up, performing every menial task on the farm and mastering it, all the while improving his English. He saved, moved to Washington and got his own place.

In high school my stepfather taught me about hard work, responsibility and staying true to your word.


But I have been even further blessed to have an amazing dad as well. There is no one more fun to hang out with than my dad. There is an unspoken currency among people, we all know about it, and it's attached to one's likability. The more affable/caring/funny/genuine you are – the more people like you.

And if that translates into this currency I mentioned before, then my dad is a very rich man. This is us after a particularly sunny day on the lake. We ran out of gas and were stranded ... then I fell asleep in the sun.

But you could say that in the lotto of life I got lucky. I've had three good men to look up to and learn from.

I know many others that have not been as lucky. I did youth ministry for a year and while on the road I would meet different kids in different towns but they all had pretty much the same problems. Girls with eating disorders who cut themselves to deal with their family issues or how their boyfriend was treating them. Or guys with anger or drug issues because they ultimately wanted the approval, attention and love of their father, mother and family.

Pretty much every woman I've ever dated has had some kind of daddy issue and I know I'm not alone on that one.

Simply put, a good man is hard to find and a bad man can really mess peoples' lives up.

So thank you to the three men who had such a great impact on me: my grandpa, my stepdad and my dad!


Happy Father's Day and thank you!